It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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