I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
