Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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