oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
