are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
