My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
