That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
