If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
