GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize