I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ketchup is God's man juice
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
