Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I deserve this hangover.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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