Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
