I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
