peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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