I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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