stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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