All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
