Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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