I just saw a hot homeless man
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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