She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
