no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
