yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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