So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
