i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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