Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
