Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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