i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
