I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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