I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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