I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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