I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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