I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Too much gin, very little bucket
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
