I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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