If i come over, it means nothing
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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