If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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