So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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