I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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