i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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