He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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