Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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