okay pat passed out under dana's car
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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