She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
