Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
