the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
