I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's the barista slut.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
