all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
