I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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