Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
