one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize