It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize