I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
