I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
