Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
