Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
