That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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